Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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