What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
