Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
