scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
