I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
