Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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