He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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