just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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