I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
