i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
