dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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