I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think a kid would responsible me up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
