I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have fence marks all over my body
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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