I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
