Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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