is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
