I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
