we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
