Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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