How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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