Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize