Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize