just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize