There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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