Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
