You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she was so not down for the gang bang
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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