she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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