But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
