I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
