so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
