I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Alive.
So much puke
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
