We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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