none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
