You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize