i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
