Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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