I hate your face
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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