maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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