I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
