If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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