And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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