Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
