i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
