dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
