hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
