it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
