I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
