youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
