she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
