She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
