I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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