Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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