I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
