he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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