the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
