I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
