My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
