I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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