Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
