I want to have your abortion
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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