If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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